The evidence is the growth
If you haven't evolved in the last few years, isn't that a red flag?
"The evidence is the growth."
Daniel shared a reel to capture the one year anniversary since we closed on the seed house and that phrase ties together something I've been thinking about lately: if there is no evidence of growth, isn't that a red flag?
And he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’
And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’” -Luke 13:6-9
I've written a lot recently about acknowledging and embracing the changes I am seeing in myself: in my beliefs, personal style, dreams, interests - pretty much everything.
For awhile, I wanted to resist the change. To deny it was happening. Partially because change is uncomfortable and a bit scary, but also because I don't like how people throw out "You've changed" in a tone that implies it's a negative thing.
But I've been trying to push back on that because aren't we supposed to change?
In fact, if you haven't evolved in the last few years, isn't that the negative thing? If you aren't seeing a maturing and growth in your values, views, beliefs, style, priorities and dreams, isn’t that evidence that you aren’t truly living your life to the fullest?
Levi’s 2T clothes are getting a bit too cozy - they still fit, but it’s definitely harder for him to move in them, yet the 3T clothes are a tad too big. It’s that awkward stage where you don’t really fit into what was before but you’re also not quite in the next size up so you live in this in between, caught between the well worn-in comfort and the looseness of something new.
If a child isn't growing, we get concerned. But, sometimes, as adults, we think that once we're "fully grown," then it is what it is. Many people stop developing spiritually, personally and professionally once they reach a certain milestone, whether that's graduating college, getting to a certain point in their career, getting married, etc. Others don't truly grow in those areas at all.
I once read a blog post from a parent who said they have this rule for their kids that on the playground, the kids are only allowed to do what’s appropriate for their age or their size.
For example, if the child tries to climb up a certain part of the playground, and they can’t do it on their own, the parent doesn’t get involved. The child is encouraged to stay within their abilities and find somewhere else to play unassisted. As a mom, that sounds safe to me, but what does that teach a child?
To prioritize safety over growth. To draw box that says this is my comfort zone.
I wrestle with this daily as a boy mom especially. Because I am the safe child. The one who played within the rules and didn't want to try something new because I didn't want to fail or be made fun of.
And now I have boys who are adventurous and brave. I want them to be safe, but I don't want to make them fear trying something new, and so I have to let them learn to do things that challenge them, even when it scares me. They may not be able to do it on the first or second try, but eventually, they get it. And that look on their face when they've conquered something new? It's extraordinary.
It’s similar for adults. You have to keep being a beginner at something in order to keep growing.
I was listening to Meghan Sussex’s new podcast and she was talking to the founder of Bumble, Whitney Herd. At the end of the episode, Whitney shared that she left Bumble at one point because she felt like she had outgrown that relationship; like she had to move onto the next thing. She went on to take a sabbatical and start a new company. A few years later, she came back to Bumble and merged her new company into Bumble.
I truly believe that certain things aren't open to us until we leave the familiar comfort zone. In fact, we actually rewire our brains when we try doing something new - your brain forms new neural connections, it improves your learning and memory capacity; dopamine is released; you learn to think in different ways; your memory is strengthened; your confidence and resilience increases.
In short: trying something new keeps your brain young, sharp and more alive.
Something as simple as taking a new route home or taking up a new hobby activates this!
Our family has made massive life changes in the last year, and we continue to learn and try new things in this season of our life. But not all seasons have this much change.
If you look at seasons in nature, there is a rhythm, which includes stretches of letting the ground rest. But even though it may look like nothing is happening to the untrained eye, that rest is still part of the growth.
Remember the story of the cursed fig tree in Matthew 21 and Mark 11?
Jesus came up to a fig tree expecting to see fruit, but when there was none He cursed it and the tree withered and died. There's a phrase in there though that used to trip me up: "because it was not the season for figs" (Mark 11:13).
As someone who talks about seasons a lot, I remember reading that and thinking how unfair it was of Jesus to expect fruit when it was not the season for it.
There are a lot of commentaries and interpretations about this passage, but the one that struck me is this: some scholars say that although it wasn't the season for figs, this particular tree in that region of the world would have been expected to show signs that it bears fruit even "out of season," so something about this tree that Jesus approached showed that it was not in fruit bearing capacity.
2 Timothy 4:2 tells us to be prepared to preach God's word in season and out of season. And since His word is a Living Word and anyone who abides in Him bears fruit, it means we are to always show evidence of growth, even in seasons of "rest."
I don't know that there can be growth without change. Seasons show us that. Leaves fall off the trees and after a few months, new ones emerge. They often bloom as flowers for a bit before maturing into greenery, and a few months later, the cycle repeats itself.
If Jesus compares us to branches on a tree, shouldn't our lives show the same cycle? The branch - our foundation - remains the same through the seasons, rooted in Him, but the outer dressings evolve with each season.
Are you seeing evidence of that in your life? As spring blooms around us, what's something new you're growing right now?
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. -John 15:2
But on the flip side, remember that there is such a thing as too much growth. Constant change is not sustainable long term and often shows a lack of vision and commitment.
Too often, companies that scale too fast end up sacrificing on quality or going up in flames. Because it's not about growth for growth's sake, but about growing in the right areas — the things that align with your values and vision.
Sometimes, growth looks like expansion outward, sometimes it is an uprooting and being planted somewhere new, but other times, growth is silent, unseen to an eye, when the roots grow deep or the soil is being prepared for something new. Wisdom is discerning the difference and courageously leaning into the change.
All of this to say, my mottos lately have been alternating between: "Let yourself be a beginner," and and "Who cares what people say?" (too often the loudest critics are the ones on the sidelines, not in the ring, and for a long time, I let them have way too much input in my life decisions).
Because I'm realizing that a large part of change is trying new things to see what fits the "new you" ("evolved you"?).
Honestly, it's all a bit of a mess in my mind - so many thoughts and ideas fighting for attention - but it's a good, thrilling kind of mess.
Since we made our big move a year ago, the change has been exponential for our entire family. The growing pains have been there, yes, but that's the evidence of growth.
At times, it's uncomfortable, scary even - like stepping off a cliff. But you keep going. Learning new things. Trying new things and hoping one day soon you'll fit into this new you that still feels too "big" for you, but former you no longer fits either.
Until next time,
